Tuesday, April 28, 2009

End of "Pitfall"

Background information:
Evan is a young Doctor of English at the Oregon State University. Jeremy is a student in Evan's senior seminar. At this point of the story, they've already fallen in love- Jeremy writes with a style and grace that Evan has never seen before, and Jeremy has always considered Evan to be one of the most handsome professors at the college.

---

"You aren't... no. Just get in the car." My voice filled with an uncertainty I still didn't have an emotional connection with yet.
Jeremy sighed. The expression I was dreading crept across his features, dark and decided. "I'm not going," he said quietly.
"Because we fought?" I asked with a touch more desperation than I had anticipated.
"No, not because we fought. You know why." He shot a glance over his shoulder and shrugged. "This isn't fair, Evan. You play the martyr every time and where does that leave me? The bad guy."
"I'm not being a martyr. I'm being practical." I tried to reason with myself while I was reasoning with him. "If we stayed tonight, people would talk. What would it look like if a professor got drunk with a student?"
His eyes remained cold and unconvinced.
"We're not having this conversation again, Evan. I'm done talking about it."
A full minute passed before either of us spoke. The rain still pounded on us despite the overhang from my garage roof. All I could think of was the day before when we had been fine. Nothing bothered us and we were happily drifting through life, huddled around our secret. Now the secret threatened to overcome me.
"I can't do this," Jeremy said without looking at me. "I'll see you in class, Dr. Harner."
I didn't go out that night. Or any night after that for a week. My little one bedroom house became an unlocked cage that I was afraid to leave and a sanctuary that I was afraid someone else would defile.
Then the memories came. My house was suddenly an asylum that I was trapped in. Or was it my mind that held me captive and the house was, as it always had been, just a house? The flowers that Jeremy bought me were still tucked neatly in the green vase on top of my kitchen table. They're still just flowers, too, but to me, they represented so much more.

No comments:

Post a Comment